Jupiterandotherthings

My Blog has no cohesive theme, rather, it is divided into four basic groups: art that moves me, girls I would like to do things to, things that make me laugh and finally, things related to Harry Potter and or Star Wars. Enjoy.

Nothing Sexier: An Essay by Richard Andalora

   It is often noted by women, as I have gleaned over the course of the 27 years of my existence, that they are unabashedly attracted to confident men. I have no contentious retort to this point, but rather an addendum, or perhaps a juxtaposition of a parallel idea. This idea (which I am prefacing, and will get to shortly) is something I’ve scarcely seen in those with whom I have spent time. The notion has occurred to me that there is something of a double standard being served up here. The idea I’m getting at, is of course, that just as women are attracted to confident men, men, too, are attracted to confident women.

   I fancy myself something along the lines of a “decent guy.” Do I have all my “shit” worked out? Certainly not. Am I without my flaws? A joke, to say the least. Am I myself a picture of perfect confidence? Of course not, we all have our moments of weakness. But goddamn it, we soldier through that. And in spite of my own short comings and insecurities, I am fucking strong, and I am self-assured, and I see now why that is something women are attracted to. So, conversely, women should note that we feel the same.

   Over the last year I have dated a few, attempted to date a few, slept with a few, attempted to sleep with a few and so on. What I have found is this: the ones with allure are the ones who keep me coming back for more. And that allure, as I get older, isn’t a superficial thing. That allure is the strength I find in women. In people in general really, but in this case, women. It isn’t about sex, it isn’t even necessarily about attractiveness. It’s about the effortless strength and unwavering character of a good woman. It is about confidence without the smoke and mirrors. Pure and raw. Visceral. True and honest.

   Ladies, it wasn’t cute in middle school and high school when you’d fish for compliments. It certainly isn’t cute now that we’ve reached adulthood. I am human, I understand we all, to some degree, seek approval and adoration. The extent to which we go, however, is something completely different. I want to pay you compliments. I want to build you up and make you feel strong and vibrant and beautiful, because I think you are. That is why I am with you. But if you seek constant approval, if you need to validate yourself through countless empty relationships, if you need to be told your  “tits look good” (they don’t, by the way, I don’t like fake breasts, as again, in my opinion, they reflect insecurity), or if you refuse to accept a compliment — any and all — despite the sincerity backing it, if you simply cannot be comfortable in your own skin, you’re not attractive. I don’t care what the fuck you look like. I don’t care how you dress. I don’t care how much we have in common. I want a huge mental boner over how belligerently self-assured you are. Is there a grey area here in respect to what is “self-assured” and what is “egocentric?” Of course, but I trust you to understand I’m referring to the former and not trying to digress into other topics.

    Just as you want a confident man, ladies. A real man wants a confident woman. That’s not to say the bottom-feeders of my respective sex won’t take advantage of your vapid and hopeless disposition, but the end result is not the same. If you want a cheap and empty fuck, or a life of solitude, by all means, continue to lack the confidence you so easily could possess, but if you want someone who will truly cherish you, grow some goddamn lady balls and be a fucking confident woman. The zeitgeist of this generation should not be a pervasively somber one, but one of battle cries and the belief in all things being possible. This starts with the simple act of confidence. Be confident, in all walks of your life, not just for men, this I beg of you. There is truly nothing sexier than a confident woman.

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